ASHLEY
Dorchester, MA
Wife, mother of 4, daughter, sister, friend, educator and mentor. I'm a self aware, loving planner and I am afraid of not being able to provide for my family. I was raised by a village. My parents were very present in my life, but also had to work a lot. My grandmothers were critical caretakers for me and I love them for it. I have battled anxiety and depression since I was 11. I never understood as a child what was happening. There didn't seem to be "triggers" or any "traumatic event," I just knew there would be times I'd feel very down. The worst day of my life was in October of 2015. I had an anxiety attack that sent me into a battle with depression. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. It was one of the worst feelings I've ever had. To manage my anxiety and depression I've done years of cognitive behavioral therapy and further developed a faith in God. I learned to lean on family and be transparent about how I am feeling. I have gained significant weight and honestly think my whole body is a mess - but my belly being fat, especially when I am no longer with child, saddens me the most. If a friend had this same insecurity I'd tell her "Love yourself regardless and work at it. If you want it to look different, you have to do things differently." I tell myself this all the time too. I do love my smile. I think it’s a good one. I want to help young black girls see their value and brilliance. I wish there was more humanity and understanding in the world. I wish there was less hate - all versions of hate. I believe happiness can only be self-created and beauty is all about the inside; in one's spirit but also in their health and how well they treat themselves. I wish more women validated the experience of other women and did less competing for an imaginary "spot." Comparison is human nature, I just don't think we should feel pressure to match the experiences of other women. You never know what someone else's experience really is. In 10 years I hope to be happy, healthy and hopeful. I am Ashley. I’m proud to be a giver and I am proud to be me.
